Yesterday I was with some friends, shopping around in the "swanky" Hillsboro village. We hopped from store to store, looking for things to enhance our appearance. With the right clothing, you can be whomever you want to be. I walked into Urban Outfitters and I became disgusted. All of the clothing, jewelry, everything in every store we went to- it was all the same. I just felt so "blah."
After that, I went to my friend Diko's house. She fled a conflict in southern Sudan. After taking "refuge" in Uganda and Kenya, she finally made it to Nashville, where she has been living for about 8 years. While there, I heard stories of suffering and triumph, of pain and God's deliverance and provision. As I was sitting there with Diko, her four precious children, and a man named Tom from northern Uganda, I had a reckoning moment of sorts. I realized that I had become alive, because at that moment, I was in God's presence. I was close to His heart. How often do do these things to "enter into God's presence"- extravagant worship concerts, whatever, when God has made it clear to us where His heart is, and what He blesses? Read Isaiah 58:
"6 Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? 7 Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter-when you see the naked, to clothe him, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood? 8 Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard. 9 Then you will call, and the LORD will answer; you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I. "If you do away with the yoke of oppression, with the pointing finger and malicious talk,
10 and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday. 11 The LORD will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail."
Quite a promise, huh? Diko told me about how she saved a woman's life who was in danger of dying in childbirth by sending $50 to Sudan to pay for the costs of delivering the baby. $50 in America might buy a pair of tennis shoes, a tanning package, hair highlights, or one night of eating out with your family. These things have never before been so real to me. I hate the disconnect between the fortunate and the suffering, those who rot in things and those who need food to survive. Which will we choose? Life or death, literal and spiritual?
If guilt means "bad conscience over responsibility," as it says in the dictionary, then let your guilt turn into something beautiful, into LOVE IN ACTION, which is the only kind of love, the only option.

Could this be any clearer?

16By this we know love, that He laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers. 17But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him? 18Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.
-1 John 3:16-18

I am so unworthy.

It is always a blessing to know that God is using us in ways we don't even realize. My wonderful friend Callie sent me this message: "Seriously, you challenged me so much this year to realize that it's not okay to sit back on the sidelines and watch. I think He has really used you to try and break down apathy on our campus and in the lives of those around you."
THANK YOU GOD.
It's not me.

OPRAH TO THE RESCUE.

About 300 people have been waiting to be rescued all week. This morning they did a coreographed dance in front of Oprah's studio. She saw them, pulled aside the filmmakers, and told them she was going to come to their RESCUE by putting them on her show TODAY!! She is modifying the whole course of her show for these guys! Some of my friends are there now. I wish I could have, but I had an exam this morning. She is one of the most (if not THE MOST) influential women in the world. This is incredible. And I get to work for them, the most incredible organization in existence (I'm not just saying that. If you knew more, you would think the same thing) THIS SUMMER!

Make sure to follow the event on nightof.therescue.invisiblechildren.com
DONT SLEEP THROUGH A REVOLUTION.

Mixed feelings.

Something wonderful is happening on our campus. The three social justice clubs: International Justice Mission, Acting on AIDS, and the brand spankin' new Invisible Children club are joining together to form one Social Justice Council. Though we are still trying to figure out the logistics, we are very excited about it. We hope that it will better model the body of Christ by allowing us to work together on things and be more unified. In addition, if someone has a heart for social justice but not necessarily a specific organization, he or she can come to the council and try out the different clubs because we will all be meeting at the same time. And, it is highly possible that I will be the president of the I.C. "subclub." This makes me very nervous. I guess I fear something going wrong and all of the blame going on me, losing our prospective club members, or exploding because of all the work. Hopefully people will have grace on us because we are new. I am excited overall. I can't wait for the freshmen to come in. One of my main concerns is that I want people to be empowered to lead and to do something about the problems they see in the world. I pray that I can lead it for a season and be replaced by someone who can do an even better job. I want to make it clear to everyone that I will need their help. This is in all of our hands.
"If you are not free, I am not free. If one man on earth is partly enslaves, the world is not completely free."

Also, the Rescue was.. and is... revolutionary. It has been delightful being able to keep up with what's going on in each city. When one part of the Body rejoices, all of us rejoice. We are a family.
Check it out: nightof.therescue.invisiblechildren.com.

For all of you wondering what my blog url means, an explanation is coming soon. It sounds depressing, but believe me, it's quite the opposite of that.

:-)

A Heavy Heart.

Things have been hard for me lately. I have such a sense of urgency about what's going on in northern Uganda. I feel like, every MINUTE we don't do something, a child is being forced to kill, rape, and see atrocities. There are 40,000 parents in northern Uganda who do not know if their children are dead or alive because they have been kidnapped by the LRA. Could you imagine being a parent, tossing and turning every night fearing what the LRA might be doing to your little girl?
I toss and turn because it bothers me so much how little we care. For most of us, it's not that we do not have the time. It's how we choose to use our time. Honestly, it hurt me that so few of my friends came to support me at the screening, but they will go to anything entertaining at the drop of a hat. Should I take it personally? What do I do? All I know to do is to pray. I pray that the Lord will use me to cause people to ponder that which is beyond themselves. That each of us would fight for others' safety and joy with everything that is in us. I just keep thinking of Amos, and how he cried out to Israel:
21 "I hate, I despise your religious feasts; I cannot stand your assemblies.
22 Even though you bring me burnt offerings and grain offerings, I will not accept them. Though you bring choice fellowship offerings, I will have no regard for them.
23 Away with the noise of your songs! I will not listen to the music of your harps.
24 But let justice roll on like a river, righteousness like a never-failing stream!"

Guys, we cannot go to a worship concert and abandon our brother's needs. God does not care what we sing if we don't do anything. Faith without deeds is dead. Is it real worship? Righteousness and justice are synonymous in the Bible. They are almost always listed together. We can never attain righteousness if we fail to be just, to love justice, to work for it.
Jesus requires nothing less than for us to pour ourselves out as living sacrifices, laid out on the altar to do whatever He requires. And if we are in communion Him, He is going to lead us to lay down our lives for others. He makes that pretty clear.
... when will I surrender my will to the Father's?

Yet even, still writing these things doesn't make me feel any better. When will I be able to reconcile these things? Does the Lord want me to? I pray that I am never content with the situation of the world.


The Rescue is the day after tomorrow. I wish I could communicate to people how vital this is. It's not something we do for fun. There are 3,000 children wanting someone to come Rescue them. They don't want to be there. We CAN, so we MUST.
Please watch this video. http://vimeo.com/4286055

First Post.

Yesterday I found out that one of my biggest dreams is coming true. I finally applied for an internship with Invisible Children and GOT IT!! For two years I have immersed myself in this organization. It is my heart. And now it's time for me to be a part of what they're doing on a bigger scale, on the national level. I will be the summer '09 Movement intern. It lasts from June 1st to July 31st. Two months in San Diego! I will be working closely with Schools for Schools, their program in which schools in America fundraise to rebuild schools in Uganda. I will tell you more details about the position when I know them :)
My friends were telling me, "You have to keep me updated," or, "You should tell me about it when you get back!" So I thought, why not keep an online blog of my experience there?
I am incredibly excited and honored that they chose me for the spot. Living in California will definitely be different than living in small town Tennessee. I am anxious but more ready than ever. I am at peace.