I just realized that I had said I would be blogging often while here but have only done it twice. It's been a month since my last one. Ha! I really don't know if anyone reads my blogs, but I suppose I'll keep doing it just in case. I just finished the first month of my internship. It has definitely been interesting. I wish that I could say I am having the "time of my life" as everyone is expecting me to. Yet I don't feel it's that way, and I hate to tell people that. Through it, I have learned a lot- mostly small lessons each day that have come together to help me with something God wants to teach me. For example, I have learned a lot about sacrifice. I am living in a house with a lot of people, and I am trying to learn to be clean/ orderly for the sake of the comfort of others. Though I don't really mind a dish soaking in the sink for a few hours, because it bothers people in the house, I try not to do it. I feel like a failure at times because I think I am considerate but here I feel irresponsible and sloppy. I expected to come here and make some of the best friends in the world- I'm spending 8 weeks of my life with people with the same interests and heart for others. It seems like it should be easy, but it's not. I have felt so alone and left out. This is the feeling I hate the most. And yet, at times, I feel numb. I do not like looking back at my experience here and not remembering any exciting times- only a haze. I would almost rather have pain than numbness, because pain makes us human.
On a lighter note, I got to be a roadie for four days. I went up to LA with the SoCal roadies to help them with a youth conference called DCLA. I wanted to stay on the road with them instead of going back to the office. I now am sure that I want to be a roadie. I adore the people that I met and the way God provided for us through them. Two nights in a row we didn't know where we were going to stay then met someone who offered us a floor or their hotel bed. People brought us pizzas, bagged lunches, and all kinds of food. We met a rad family named the Rudes who were hilarious and made buttons that said "we are friends with the IC crew" or something like that. The kids at the conference as a whole were exceptional. They all seemed to genuinely care about what we were doing. Many of them are starting Schools for Schools through their schools or churches. Yay! There were many youth there who were obviously unsure of themselves. I pray that God uses IC to empower them. I also felt appreciated by the roadies for myself. Being around people whom you can't be yourself around is stifling. I wonder if the "he's just not that into you" principle applies to friendships?
